My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
