Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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