I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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