He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
