you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
