i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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