Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
