And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
