whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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