are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
