Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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