WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think i have two assholes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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