Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
