My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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