With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
