...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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