just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
