so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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