Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
