apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
