Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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