I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
