We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
