The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
