Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
