He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
