I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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