I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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