need another drink. this is the easiest way
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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