Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
