If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
