What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
