$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
