i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
