Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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