he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Four minutes until I can fart!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
