yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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