My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Four minutes until I can fart!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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