I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
