We're facebook friends in real life
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
