So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
