i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
