just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
