I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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