Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
