oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we're so committed to being not committed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
