in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
