It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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