those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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