The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Randomize
