cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm getting married
To pizza
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
