omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
