How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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