My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
