My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
