i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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