i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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