Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
