Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
