i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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