Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
