So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
