He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
